Monday, September 15, 2008

Epilogue (Call Center Onthologics)

– Hola?

– Good evening?

– Yes, hello, what can I do you for?

– Well... I'm calling in behalf of a phone company... oh it's fine, it might be a wrong number.

– What do you say? a phone service? Could you please explain to me? You can take your time, brother.

– Well... okay, I'm offering you a free gift card of up to sixty minutes of international calls, depending on the country you usually call to.

– Really? Is it for free? Well I don't make any long distance calls, my whole family lives here in Miami.

– Oh, that's fine. Thanks for your time.

– Hold on, bro! Wait, wait, why don't you explain to me the whole thing? Who are you people, where are you, your prices?

– Really? Okay, well, we are a company from Sunny Isles and we want you to know us and the quality of our service... where do you make abroad calls usually?

– Hmmm... nowhere really. But wait, I was born in Dominican Republic. Let's say I have family there.

– Oh, okay... well at first you'll receive a sixty minutes courtesy of calls to Dominican Republic. If you wish to continue with us, we offer you a rate of ¢4 per minute with an additional bonus of...

– Yes? What kind of promotion do I get? You can tell me boy, just take your time.

– Yes, yes... we give you 10 minutes for each $10 that you charge on your line. But... it's okay, you don't have to do this, you won't be my sale anyway...

– That's okay, bro, leave that up to me. So tell me, How does this work? What do I have to do?

– First you have to give me some info. I'll activate your free minutes so you can use them in about an hour. The way it works is simple. Depending on your location, I'll give you an access code, which is a number to dial free of charge.

– I told you I live in Miami. What number is it?

– Yes, you dial the number, and once you're logged in, simply dial 011 followed by country and area codes, and finally the phone number of your destination.

– Ok, that wasn't what I ask but it's cool, bro, so, what kind of info to you need? My ID? My credit card number?

– As you can see it is better than a phone card because you don't have to learn a random and varying number. It is from your home, you only charge what you are going to use, with no monthly fees or connection costs. You can use our service on both phones and cellphones, inscribing up to ten lines to the same account. You can inscribe up to four right now.

– Bro, just tell me, what info do yo need? It's okay, take your time.

– I need only a name, your address with P. O. Box, and a phone line you want to inscribe and start using the service.

(Dominican Republican gives his personal info, that I won't share because I don't seem to remember)

– Thanks, Mr. Pedro. Now I'll ask you to write down the access code for your city. In Miami the number is...

– ... alright. It's checked.

– Well... Mr. Pedro, do you have any further questions?

– You have been a very gentle boy, bro, now tell me, do I have to make a charge or anything so you get your commission?

– Oh, no, not at all. You just have to let me deliver you our mail to your address. In about two days you'll get all our brochure, with instructions, the costumer service line, our promos and overall prices, and everything.

– Bueno...

– Oh, your courtesy will be activated within an hour but you have to use it in the next three days. Oh, and if you want to charge some credit you can do it using your credit card, your phone check, mail...

– All that is explained in the brochure.

– Oh, yeah, sure.

– What else can I do you for?

– Oh, nothing else, thank you. Have a good evening.

– You too, my friend.

– Bye.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Now I Am Sad (Call Center Onthologics)

No more cubans with the need to keep in touch with their relatives, even if it is ephemeral.




No more funny American officers trying to play smart, with the necessary backstage generalized laughter.





No more helpful Dominican Republicans helping out with all of their effort so I get to make a sale to them.




No more wise-ass Center Americans who led me to believe and let me carry all the way through only to hang up few steps behind my sale.




No more Peruvians. They can get a deal of under ¢4 per minute in calls from the US to Peru. That's unhidable.




Never had Mexicans, Argentinians, Brazilians, Europeans, or Asians. The less people the better right?

Dos And Don'ts Inside The Call Center (Call Center Onthologics)

  • Guners: No. They make general the loud, yell and screaming.
  • Television: Yes. They're to be listened in peace but still there are some lively melodies that come around (and please, listen to Marquee Moon now!)
  • Moby: No. I just don't favor him.
  • Ladytron: No. Their ambient has a specific strength and it's not easy to stay in a call center with Ladytron on the head (yet I do! What's wrong!)
  • The Lords of Altamont: Yes. Why not, they are showing up for the first time. I might be more focused when attend calmly.
  • Carolina Liar: Yes, another surprise. It's kind of cute and tranquilizer.
  • Yorke: Three times yes. Makes look your role as depressing. This time thought, esthetically depressing.
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers: Yes. Sure. Every once in a while a mainstream classic counts for the cheer that cannot keep up with the outstanding pace of my own mediocrity.
Over and Over and
Fired!
This has been an The Everlasting Orange & Duque Corp., Inc. Thanks to all.
September 11th, 2008. 2055

Friday, September 12, 2008

Doing Sales, Aspiring to Costumer Service (Call Center Onthologics)

I am amazed of me and my tongue because it's so fast.
This is what happens after standing for hours in front of the mirror at work. If you wish to know me physically, I will describe myself.

I truly believe in colorful ads placed in sky high buildings, sky obstructing buildings.
This is what happens after increases of the aggregated demand does not include a proper land policy. If you wish to deal with Metaphysics (math and physics) of society, I will explain in detail.

I collect songs from rock perspectives as long as they are recent or groovy, in fact my heaviest problem so far is to locate a growing quantity of over 10.270 songs.
This is what happens when technology goes for massive distribution along with copyright law diminish and a hint of freedom of speech. If you wish to access my precious source, I will tag and organize my monthly-lasting playlist.

Tubes of this year.

  • I was with someone for over a month (not straight).
  • I met parts of women who men parts of me... Platonic love crossed the line.
  • I abandon school for Greater Winds within the same continent.
  • I will start off a financial conglomerate.
  • My own consultant advisor.
  • My 160GB quickly running out of room.
  • I betrayed my biggest provider, as the ancient myth said.
  • Sex looks after you not otherwise.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Wiping tears on copper tissues (Call Center Ontologics)

My Inner being strips in the process of calling hundreds, maybe thousands of American individuals. I'm realizing, by surprise, what does it mean that we live in the same world.
I can't be a pushy seller. I just have to be nice so I don't stop hating myself after standing sit and putting up with the continuous flows of phones hung and people mad yelling and telling me this will go deep for our company because we were trying to make a sale to a government-protected phone line. I cannot injure unknown people just for the sake of it. I though I could. So should I bother a man while resting in the suburbs just because his cell was on? Or to the extent, a working fellow in a middle-to-high level of stress with no time and who finally makes no international calls at all? I'm so not made for this. I can't believe anyone is. Another prove I just don't belong. What for. That is the only explanation I find for there is people who can while I can't.
So I talk to people nicely. They say "no, thanks" and I excuse myself for the time given. I'll never make a sale, today it's been 1:18 since I started and nothing. I care not. Hopefully I get fired. I don't belong and yes, yes, it might be a different time zone her, but hours last the same everywhere. Crs

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

If they're making a good choice or not; if it touches me. Si están tomando una buena decisión o no, y si me afecta.

For the two-realeases bands, I'll know if I belong to their presents or to their futures.
Para las bandas de dos álbumes, sabré si pertenezco a su presente o a su futuro.

Arcade Fire
Funeral < Neon Bible
Arctic Monkeys
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not < Favourite Worst Nightmare
Bloc Party
Silent Alarm > A Weekend in the City
The Bravery
The Barvery < Sun and the Moon
Editors
The Back Room < An End Has a Start
Franz Ferdinand
Franz Ferdinand > You Could Have it so much Better
The Go! Team
Thunder, Lightning, Strike! > Proof of Youth
Kaiser Chiefs
Unemployment < Yours Truly, Angry Mob
The Long Blondes
Someone to Drive You Home > "Couples"
Modest Mouse
Good News for People who Love Bad News < We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank
The Sounds
Living in America < Dying to Say this to You
Tokyo Police Club
A Lesson in Crime > Elephant Shell
TV on the Radio
Desperate, Youth, Thirsty Young Babes < Return to Cookie Mountain
VHS or Beta
Night on Fire < Bring on the Comets
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Fever to tell < Show your Bones